MuSiC oF mY LiFe

~~Friday, May 30, 2008~~

The text below is purely personal and there shld be no arguments or debates abt it. Its a matter of individual opinion right here.

Duno how long i haven't updated. I have no idea how long my blog stopped sounding personally unstable. But there are bound to be times when we are unsure abt ourselves and the pple ard us. Its the insecurities that we feel and the reassurances that we might need to get pass these dry negative periods...But how many pple actually made the effort to show u that they care?

Some pple expect u to know that they care. Perhaps they have pure, groundless assumptions that if they told u once or they did something that was attentive to u once, u r expected to remb that they were caring be4, are still caring towards u, and will definitely be caring to u still in the near future at least. Is that somewhat...unfair? I believe that occasional gestures or words of reassurances do help to comfort the heart that we still keep the promises that we have with each other, there. And I certainly don't think there is a gender issue discrepancy here as well. One might rebutt by saying that girls need more regular, constant reassurances, cos they are more sensitive, or paranoid in a more negative connotation. I dun deny the fact tt girls in general needs to be more, how to put it, emotionally comforted. But, guys shld admit the fact tt they do feel the insecurities as well, but yet, covered by their pride.

A suggestion to this small controversy? Everyone, do try to practice the 5 languages of love: Words of affirmation, Quality time, Receiving gifts, Acts of Service, and Physical touch. Dun ever think i'll get all mushy on this issue cos its certainly not relating to couples only, but for family, friends and all whom u care. Do give and return the care that is received by u from others.

I've picked up this lil' knowledge from 1st yr in Poly when i did my 1st communication workshop and this was a lil' research i did on my topic. I was glad tt i chose this, cos it taught me life lessons way out of sch curriculum which i would not want to miss out on. Pls. spend a short moment getting to know them, from my humble memory n knowledge that is.

Words of affirmation can be simple statements like, "U look great today", "I m so glad we manage to try this activity out tgr". It shows alot of appreciation and gives alot of verbal encouragement. Its nowhere near superficiality if u really mean what u say. Shy dudes shld come out to the light sometimes cos' kind words nv hurt.

Quality time is really more than mere proximity. It is abt focusing on what u r doing with that person and its really impt. A daily example would be having a peaceful interactive dinner without the abundant use of phone texts and random checking of the phone to see if anyone wants to contact u at the moment. Its really courtesy and respect u have for the person u r with at the moment. It is only when u focus and not have distractions would u engage in meaningful and unforgettable moments. I get turned off too, when pple checks their phones religiously like it somehow seems more impt than me.

Receiving gifts are tokens of appreciation u want to present to someone and they dun need to come by every single day. They dun even need to cost much. It is the attitude that really count. It is nt investing in the money, not least for me, it is investing in the r/s u would like to have with that person. It is, appreciation again.

Acts of service mustn't be left out too. Its doing some service or chores for someone like running an errand, helping with the unpacking of stuff and more. Its random acts of kindness that shld nv be an obligation to me, but shld be a voluntary expression of devotion, care and concern for the person. Its nv meant to be a sacrifice.

Last would be physical touch and its not always dirty and taboo. Its just your physical response out of how u feel towards the person. I dun particularly fancy the overly touchy gestures but hugs, pats, taps, are not illegal, are they? Basically they are physical touch that gives the person security.

I believe that everyone needs a lil' bit of everything in the 5 languages of love, just that we have a fancy for more of some and less of the others. But these 5 languages of love certainly cover the basic idea of appreciating that person regardless who he/she is. As long as u appreciate that person, do show some of these languages cos' these acts goes a long way.

This is tiny life lesson #1 on this blog i supposed. Take care pple and make pple ard u smile cos they have a reason to do so...becos of YOU.

3:38 AM